The day the Amygdala quit!

Yesterday I had one of the most nourishing experiences as a panel interviewer for an undergraduate degree program at esteemed design and technology institute.

An applicant to the program started showing us some of her artwork from her portfolio. Her tone was calm and confident.

I noticed she said all the right things. She had obviously prepared well. It was clear that design meant a lot for her in terms of solving world's most pressing problems. She also gracefully answered our questions and made sure her body language displayed optimism for the program.

Then something magical happened.

When I typically think a candidate deserves a shot, I try and understand where she is truly coming from.

I took out my bag of LEGO bricks and dropped it in front of them. To see some glitter in her eyes after all that serious talk was refreshing.

I could sense her curiosity. I asked her to open the bag and build a duck in two minutes.

She looked at me like "I was kidding?!"

She was confused, didn't know what to say. Hesitantly she started playing with the bricks.

I observed her struggle to create. She put a few bricks together but wasn't too happy with what she had done. So she dismantled everything and started again.

She probably did this process of making, breaking and creating 3-4 times until the time ran out.

I could see the disappointment in her face. Wanting to know what she had created , I empathetically asked her - "do you want to explain your duck?"

She said - "okay sir.."

The tone was full of fear. I felt sorry for her but didn't know why. Then she started her narration.

One minute through her story, she broke into tears. She said "I don't know why this is happening to me but I feel very indecisive".

I asked her to pause, take a breath and tell me why do you feel this way.

She said - "I can't know sir! I don't know if I have done my best."

I asked her why?

She said - "I usually ask for other's opinion. I never know when it's good enough!"

Clearly her self confidence in the area she thought that she was really great at was being challenged.

I then told her that her work was quote unquote "kick-ass" and she must start believing in herself. I thanked her for sharing her true self with us.

As she walked away, I realized how shaken up with all were on the panel. The experience was beyond words.

I regret not giving her a hug.

What was her creation? She made a duck that had one eye, one small beak, lean body, two small bricks on the sides to indicate walls of defense she had build around her. I could go on, but you get the idea.

Lessons I learnt

At work, most of us shut down the part of the brain that are responsible for emotions (amygdala).

We must realize that children today are not the children we used to be! Remember the crackling sound of marbles or the flight of our feet playing hop scotch or even the thrill of knocking out all seven stones on the streets of developing urban India? This was what experiences looked like in the eighties.

While our kids effortlessly maneuver from the real to the virtual playground, most of us will never know how this feels because we will always treat digital as a separate medium for engagement.

Today with information on their fingertips, the young generation seem to be bolder and smarter than we were. The pressures of having many choices is the new reality. They all want to do their best but "will they really feel nurtured and nourished in the experience we create for them - be it as a parent, educator or employer?".

They don't live in a different world. They just feel, think and do things differently.

Instead of fighting them, can we empathize better with them and leverage these behaviors to get them future ready? Can we create or enable learning experiences in moments that matter to them?

I believe we need to shift our mindset from thinking to feeling. Find ways to help young candidates discover their fit and explore the opportunity at hand. They need a zone of opportunity and not zone of comfort. We must provide them a safe, creative environment for them to learn and fail fast and forward.

That's why they will want to work with (not for) you.